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© 2020 Melanite Entertainment.

Finding Sacred: A Memoir

Part of the Terran Universe



ABOUT THIS BOOK


No one can deny Dr. Nero’s accomplishments in the field of Psi Overactive Disorders (PODs). His Empirical Holistic network has helped thousands of Psi whose abilities refuse to operate in a manner that many on the inside and those of us on the outside would consider normal. He has donated millions to help those afflicted by Martin’s disease and his work restoring the Florida Everglades to a semblance of its former self earned him the United States Noble medal of Science. However, much about his private life remained a mystery. Yet despite all his work, no one can deny the controversies that follow him.


Our decision to publish Dr. Matus Nero’s memoir was not taken lightly. We were aware of the controversies but felt that this memoir dealt with a subject that was non-controversial and would not add to the polarization within the Psi community and alienate those who have not been privileged enough to be a part of that world. We were wrong but we will not apologize for it. Books were made to provoke thought and prompt discussion and that is the service we feel we are providing by publishing this book.


Now that the book has been published we can unequivocally state that the publicity surrounding the book and the so-called leaks never came close to what Dr. Nero’s manuscript entailed. While we knew that all alone, we decided to let his words and our published work speak for itself. The period of life he revisits here is not controversial and touches on feelings and experiences that many of us have had at one point or another. It was his idea to speak on his struggles with PODs and insight into his personal life, which, despite his public profile, the world knows very little about. We did not solicit him as some news outlets suggested and, to our knowledge, this isn’t an attempt to distract from his foundation's purchase of homes in South Florida to expand his everglades restoration effort. In fact, the book was at the printers when news broke.


We have gotten to know Dr. Nero well over the year it took to take his idea from rough draft through rewrites, to the final product and the printers. The staff and Editors here have come to think of him as a cherished friend who feels we know the true measure of the man. A Lightworker like Dr. Nero will not be universally understood but a Lightworker like Dr. Nero can change the world.


Don’t believe what a person does, instead, believe what they say. For anyone on the fence or with an open mind, Finding Sacred does that. Croskey Publishing prides itself on publishing stories that help you escape; make you think and bring people together. We believe finding Sacred does that and stand by our decision to not only print it but to put all our resources behind promoting it.


We invite you to read with an open mind and challenge you to change the perception you have of others and to realize that when you see a person on the street you realize that they may be struggling with things in their own lives and let peace, love, and understanding rule the day.

- Stella Victor

Editor-In-Chief, Croskey Publishing



CHAPTER 1


As I write this, my emotions are a jumbled mess and hard to pinpoint. I feel as if part of this mess of emotions are mine and the other is that of my Sacred. Now whether they know it or not I’m not sure. Hell, I can’t even be sure if any of these are him or if they are all me. What I do know is that I am boarding on being a mess and it is my hope that by writing this I can begin to sort out what is me and what is not and just reflect on how far I’ve come since my diagnosis, awakening, and my new purpose as well as give credit where credit is due and acknowledge my Sacred’s role in all of this.


Logic dictates that you start at the beginning, but emotions aren’t always logical so let’s defy logic and get to the good stuff. Shiro (not his real name) and I just had an intimate moment in our living room. He had been going through somethings and I gave him some space and finally, it came to a head and I forced the issue. It brought us back together because I felt like we had been drifting. Not a part per se, but drifting and when you drift without anything holding you together you have a tendency to drift apart if you aren’t careful. Kind of like Enhydras when they are in their tribes and fall asleep in the rivers; they hold onto each other so that they are there for each other through the night and the morning.


I should pause here and give those of you not familiar with Psi culture and terminology your first lesson; intimate does not mean sex. For us, it is about getting deep and connecting on a level that most people can never truly fathom. Up until I met Shiro, I would say I only felt a deep connection once before and that was with my best friend Cristobal and even with him it happened over time and it wasn’t as instantaneous as it had been with Shiro.


Coming together on that level after having an extended moment of being blocked from each other was refreshing and being able to sit in the darkness of our living space and open up was a breath of fresh air for me and I’m hoping beneficial to him as well. Contrary to popular opinion (I see you David Davis), Shiro and I aren’t always in synch nor can I tell what he is thinking or always “feel” him. The later may have more to do with my PODs than anything else, but it works for us. Another factor is the fact that our relationship is unconventional on many levels,⁠1 the biggest among them is the fact that I am Psi and he is not. He may be a tad empathic, but he has never been tested and I doubt it would even register on their scales, at least not in the sense that the council would recognize.


This minor (at least to us) difference between us is a stress to our relationship. A stress that I tend to bring the most ammunition and left to totally clean it all up. In essence, I come in and slay the dragon without really thinking or trying to understand if it means me harm. Nine times out of ten it doesn’t, and I’m left trying to heal, bandage and nurture it back to health when, if I would have just taken the time out and paid attention, it wouldn’t happen in the first place. What am I talking about you ask?


When Shiro and I aren’t paying attention and the distance grows between us, it tends to affect us. Me a lot more than him. When the uncertainty, fear, and worry are rolling off him like waves in a cat 3 hurricane it sends me for a loop and I begin to feel it and it affects me and I tend to get unbalanced, loose focus and feel like I wander aimlessly around. A lot of the time I’m not even conscious that I’m doing it until I reach a point where I take a second and look around to see how I got on the dark road that is obsession, self-doubt, and self-sabotage and wonder how did I get here. In the past, I didn’t even realize when it was happening or what was happening. One week, I’m fine and productive and the next I’m struggling to function, don’t want to move or get up. I would chalk it up to my PODs and my depression interacting with each other again and teaming up on me, but I started to realize that while those two likes to team up and take me down together, it isn’t always them. I discovered that I was getting drenched by feeling Shiro had and confusing them as my own. Which was one of the signs that told me that he and I were in a deeper relationship than I had thought and while we balanced each other well in a lot of ways, we can’t always handle each other when we are struggling mentally?


To those who say that two people dealing with mental issues are a bad mix and to the others who say that it is too much to deal with I would say to you both that you are right. However, I would argue that when something is difficult you don’t just throw it out, you try to work with it and find out what you can do to fix it and when you realize you can’t fix it you find other alternatives. That is us! Too much has happened between us, I believe the universe and reality put us together for a reason and you don’t just give up on that and give the universe and the divine the finger and tell them to do better. They send you what you deserve and what brings you happiness and want to see how much you truly are willing to fight for and I am not only willing to fight for Shiro even though I am a horrible fighter, I would willingly give my life if it means he gets to live. It wasn’t always that way, but the realization that here I was thinking this while we were talking and feeling both his and my waves calm as we talked made me realize that he was my sacred and that I needed to process how we got here and how much he has been able to push me and help me grow. So, after our conversation, I came into my room, sat down and began to write and reflect on how far I’ve come and where the catalyst and mile markers were that led me here. All of that led me to the decision to seek to publish a memoir speaking on my experiences and trying to understand what a sacred has done for me. I never thought I would have one let alone one that was male and that I was drawn to on so many levels, but here we are.